Saturday, January 13, 2007

My God.

How does anyone get through grad school with a baby? He's even a good sleeper, but there are just not enough hours in the day unless I want to starve to death while living in a filthy hovel and never go outside again or do ANYTHING that isn't related to baby or work.

Course, two problems are that 1) he's kind of a shitty napper (45 minute max for several naps daily) and I don't work as well in small bursts - it takes me a few minutes to get going, and it's also hard to tear myself away. I'm more of a chunk girl. And 2) I'm NOT a late night person, so his predilection for going to bed at 6:30 (yay!) only helps so much, as I'm up at 5:30 on the days I teach and 6:30 or 7:00 on the days I don't (b/c he is.) And - trust me on this - I can't possibly get up any earlier. He's still up 3-4 times during the night, though they are mercifully brief feedings and he goes right back to the business of snoozing as soon as he's drained one.

So....if anyone WERE to read this thing, and have some advice, they would be welcome to post it. And isn't it national delurking week? So - advise me, passersby!

He's cuter than CS Peirce, by a long shot.


Blogger Tammy said...

Hoo boy. Frankly, I don't know how you're still alive. I have a friend who's doing the same thing, and I think she's CRAZY. The good news is that she survived. But, I don't know how.

What I can tell you from personal experience is that the naps will lengthen, the night wakings will become less frequent (maybe he'll even decide to sleep through the night), and you will most likely develop unbelievably efficient work habits as a result.

Also, if you have any friends who owe you a favor, now would be the time to cash them in for big chunks of babysitting. People really do mean it when they offer help. Take them up on it.

One day at a time...

7:28 PM  
Blogger L. said...

Gah! Why isn't blogger letting me post a comment??

5:53 AM  
Blogger L. said...

Oh, okay, so it is... It wasn't clear! This is MaryP, by the way. No idea why it's calling me "L" - has something to do with this being linked to my gmail account, I'm sure.


I was going to agree with Tammy: you're on a really tough road right now, and a babysitter is a marvellous idea! Someone to come in for a couple of half-days, a couple of days a week, if you can manage it. Would make a world of difference, I bet.

As for the daytime naps? My suggestion to lengthen them is to swaddle the boy. Not sure how? Get that Karp book - or better, the Karp DVD. I find the man a little self-aggrandizing, but swaddling, done correctly, WORKS.

Oh, and I've finally bloglined you, so I'll be back!

5:57 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

I can sympathize - I was in grad school with two toddlers, aged 2 and 3 and they were MONSTERS! Neither of them slept through the night, they wet the bed, fought like cats and dogs, causing baby sitters to quit constantly. I lived in a filthy hovel and didn't do anything that wasn't related to childcare or school work or putting food on the table. And we didn't have computers then. One thing I did was go to the library when they were in nursery school; it forced me to actually work and not be tempted to just throw some laundry in, etc. In other words, really focus and not get distracted; that way you'll get more done and be more efficient. Good luck!

6:27 PM  
Blogger Just some girl said...

Tammy: my work habits are already better than ever (except for right now - he's asleep, therefore I should be working!) But it's easier for me to not procrastinate. So maybe this will be...character-building or something! Unfortunately, all my friends are ALSO in grad school, so I haven't had many offers of *free* babysitting (jerks!)

MaryP: we have been talking about exactly that - hiring someone to come into the house for a couple hours, 2-3 days a week. I was thinking, having worked in a restaurant, that I know lots of high school girls whose native language is Spanish - and I'd LOVE for him to learn Spanish! (And this is the beginning of the super-fertile language learning time, so it might be ideal!) ANd it wouldn't mess with breastfeeding since he'd be here, and I wouldn't worry about the high-school-ness for the same reason.

Rebecca: I bet your kids would be thrilled to read that! :) Our hovel is pretty filthy (I've promised myself to quit picking on my husband about that, as he works more than I do and does his share of childcare as well.) Yes, it could always be worse - he could be a toddler! At least he's always still where I put him if I walk away for a minute (he's not interested in rolling over - that's for babies. He wants to STAND. Or failing that, sitting up is a pretty close second.) Going to the library is a great idea since when I'm here with the husband and the child, the husband has no compunctions about interrupting. (Hopefully the putative high school girl babysitter WILL have some compunctions about that.)

Thanks for all the advice! I also talked to my professor/mentor who had her kids in grad school, and she said that it made her more productive, as well. So I feel better now. Especially if I get to go on that damn cruise. :)

11:02 AM  

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