I'm a bit of an asshole. I am really having a hard time not being compulsive about the house stuff and not getting resentful that I do a lot of it, though there are many times that I do NOTHING and R. totally takes care of me to let me work. I'm not sure how to adjust my attitude on this - mom is so like that, and it seems to have seeped into my very bones. But I know that so much of the world is in your perception of it, and I don't want to be resentful and grumpy with R.!
I've been reminding myself over and over while I clean or whatever how much he does for me and how much I want to do things for him, to be as generous as he is.