Y'all, I've had my ears pierced since I was wee (I think about 11 or 12? AT LEAST 20 years) and I haven't worn earrings regularly in so long that I had to repierce them myself to go to dinner the other night! (Ow, by the way.)

And now I'm having to go through that whole dimly-remembered routine again of wearing stud-type earrings all the time (including when sleeping) and taking them out twice a day to clean ears and earrings with alcohol and twisting them so they don't scab into place.

The most embarrassing thing in this litany of indignity is that the only thing close to stud earrings I have are huge fake diamonds. So I'm sleeping, eating, showering, in huge fake diamond earrings. I am sitting here right now in glasses and sweatpants and slippers...and huge fake diamond earrings.